The first professional orchestral audition I went to… I didn’t. I bought train tickets, booked a hotel, traveled, checked in, practiced, slept, got up, got dressed… and couldn’t leave the hotel.
There were no good reasons. I could play the music. I had prepared for the audition. I’d had a good trip and a decent sleep. I even liked my reed. I was just too terrified to leave the hotel.
It was embarrassing too… I didn’t want to tell people that I hadn’t gone but I didn’t want to lie either. Eventually I just told people I’d had the flu.
Years later I still don’t like auditions and will probably happily stay where I am rather than do more but I did eventually do many and had more than a few successes. With better preparation though I think I could have avoided that one very bad experience.
-Kathy.